


Reactions to Tea: The Gaang's Reaction

by sinistercinnamon



Series: A Taste of Tea [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (yes really! actual humour!), Angst, Borderline crack, F/M, Humor, Katara needs to chill, M/M, POV Sokka (Avatar), Past Rape/Non-con, Past non-consensual drug use, Protective Mai, Toph is the foul-mouthed gremlin we all know her to be, Whump, Zuko (Avatar) Needs Therapy, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), detective sokka, inappropriate mix of angst & humour, right up until there isn't...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinistercinnamon/pseuds/sinistercinnamon
Summary: Sequel to The Taste of Tea.[He’d been watching carefully since Zuko had shown up here with that story about ‘being good now’ or whatever. Only all he’d done since then was act like they all had some sort of contagious disease.The Jerkbender was up to something, he knew it! He just needed to find out what.]Zuko is acting suspiciously. Detective Sokka is on the case!
Relationships: Mai & The Gaang (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Past Zhao/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: A Taste of Tea [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004679
Comments: 40
Kudos: 559





	Reactions to Tea: The Gaang's Reaction

**Author's Note:**

> Actual humour here! Like, most of this is basically crack. Right up until it isn't anymore...
> 
> Set post-The Firebending Masters but pre-Boiling Rock. So no Hakoda or Suki - sorry. No Yue either because she wouldn't have worked in this with how it ended up playing out. Mai's here though as I figure their communication would be better than in canon after their heart-to-heart talk in part 2 of this series. I swear I planned this to have multiple POVs with everyone trying to figure Zuko out, but Detective Sokka just kinda took over & I'm not remotely sorry.

_- **Sokka** -_

He’d been watching carefully since Zuko had shown up here with that story about ‘being good now’ or whatever. Only all he’d done since then was act like they all had some sort of contagious disease.

The Jerkbender was up to something, he knew it! He just needed to find out what.

Detective Sokka was on the case!

Step one was to find evidence.

Actually getting into their room without either of them noticing was tricky though. Jerkbender spent a lot of time teaching Aang how to throw fire around at various scenic locations around the temple, but Gloomy Hairbuns showed no inclination to explore (unlike Teo, Haru and The Duke, who they barely saw because they seemed determined to check out every inch of this place).

She would practice knife throwing, but her favoured target was a Pai Sho board that Aang had fixed to a nearby wall in a pointed (Ha! Pointed!) hint to please not damage any ancient artifacts, thank you. Sometimes she would watch her stupid boyfriend, or one of the others practicing their bending. But she wouldn’t stay watching any one display the whole time and there was no guarantee she wouldn’t come back at any moment.

Was it because she really had no interest in exploring or watching benders showing off? _Or was she hiding something?_

He finally decided to risk bringing Katara in on his plan. Normally she hated invading people’s privacy (unless she was the one doing it), but she was even more suspicious of these two than he was, so she agreed to signal him if she saw Mai coming back.

The first thing he noticed was a pair of swords propped up against the bed, and he itched to try them… No! Focus!

He looked through the rest of their stuff. There were a couple of portraits – one of Zuko’s uncle, a portrait of the not-so-happy couple (seriously, were either of those two capable of smiling?), and Gloomy’s brother who they’d accidentally kidnapped that one time (oops), clothes, knives (duh)… and a couple of scrolls!

Aha! Attack plans! Important Fire Nation military secrets! Maps!

Nope. Plays.

So far the only secret he’d uncovered was that Zuko was a nerd.

He shook his head at Katara as he emerged, and she frowned.

Plan B: Surveillance!

He watched part of one of Aang’s Jerkbending sessions, but quickly grew bored at the lack of murder attempts on the Avatar.

His attempt to observe Gloomy’s knife-throwing practice was aborted due to safety concerns, after she’d asked him if he was offering to help her practice by giving her a new target.

Next, he tried following them as they wandered off a little way to sit on a rock holding hands. This was his last resort, as he wasn’t sure if the potential reward of finding out Zuko’s secret master plan to take down the Avatar was worth the risk of having to watch them be lovey-dovey.

Not that they got all _that_ lovey-dovey. Which was strange. Hey, don’t get him wrong, he was supremely grateful – he liked food, and he had no desire to waste any by spewing his lunch all over the ground. But it was… yeah, pretty weird. They held hands, cuddled up to each other, kissed occasionally, but that was it.

Maybe it was some sort of weird nobility thing where openly showing any affection for anyone or anything was considered the height of bad manners.

He successfully managed to evade detection and hid himself close enough to be able to overhear their conversation.

“I don’t know if I can keep this up any longer,” Zuko said, angstily (he said everything angstily) and Sokka’s ears perked up. Aha! This was proof they were definitely hiding something! But what?

Unfortunately Gloomy’s response was lost in the wind. Damn Airbenders for putting their temple somewhere windy! He was missing crucial information! She was probably revealing their evil plan right now!

He missed most of what Zuko said next, only catching a few words. “…disgusting… sick… hate…”

“Hey, don’t talk like-” The wind cut of the rest of her obvious warning to Zuko that he needed to keep up with their nefarious ruse.

“But if they knew the truth about me!”

Ha! So Jerkbender _was_ hiding something. He totally knew it! He was right!

Of course, that was when Haru, Teo and The Duke wandered up, back from their latest excursion, and Sokka had to quickly pretend like he’d just paused to adjust his tunic and was just passing.

So now he had a confession! The only trouble was he didn’t know what exactly Zuko was confessing _to_. He couldn’t foil an evil plan if he didn’t know what the plan was!

Normally just knowing that evil was being plotted would be enough, but after Aang had _generously_ decided to let Jerkbender and his weird stabby girlfriend stay, he seemed determined to give them the benefit of the doubt.

More investigation was needed. What else could he do though?

Ugh, if only he hadn’t been interrupted while he was surveilling the suspects! There were too many people in this place.

Wait, that was it! There were other people here, and maybe someone had seen something important without realising, something that would be an obvious clue to an expert detective like himself.

He went to get ink and paper from his bag.

** Investigative notes, compiled by Detective Sokka: **

Witness: Aang

Age: 12 (or 112, depending how you count it)

Occupation: Avatar, Pure Cinnamon Roll

Detective Sokka: So, you’ve been training with Zuko? What’s that been like?

Avatar Aang: [bouncing excitedly on the rock he’s sitting on] Pretty good! He’s cranky, but way less hard on me than Sifu Toph.

DS: And would you say the training’s been going well?

AA: Yeah, though [sighs] I never realised there’d be this many hotsquats involved.

DS: Has he attacked you? Tried to harm you at all?

AA: [cheerfully] No, he says I’m not ready at have any fire actually thrown at me yet. [pauses] I kinda want to point out that he’s already thrown fire at me a whole bunch and I’m fine, but um, [winces] that’s kinda awkward to bring up. [smiles] So he’s just had me practicing some basic katas. And hotsquats [sighs, looks frustrated]. Soooo many hotsquats. [slides off rock dramatically] [ _Note: Possibility of Aang picking up some of Zuko’s dramatic tendencies? This bears watching!_ ]

DS: That’s it?

AA: Oh, wait! I forgot!

DS: [ _Note: Is this it?!!!?_ ] What? What is it?!

AA: We’ve been meditating too!

DS: [ _Note: Ugh._ ] Meditating?

AA: Yeah. [waves hand around vaguely] Something about aligning your inner fire with… something. I uh, [rubs back of neck, looking sheepish] kinda wasn’t listening because I was too excited to try Firebending… [perks up again] So, Sifu Hotman-

DS: I’m sorry, what did you just call him?

AA: Sifu Hotman! [waves arms wildly] That’s my name for him!

DS: And he’s okay with this?

AA: [grinning] Sure! [hesitates] Well, he yells at me about it, but I’m sure he doesn’t mean it! [ _Note: Yells, huh? Seems like he’s still plenty angry at the Avatar._ ]

DS: Okay, well, has ‘Sifu Hotman’ been acting suspicious at all?

AA: [confused] What do you mean?

DS: You know, weird?

AA: [screws up face in intense thought] Hmm… [frowns] Well…

DS: Yes???

AA: [almost wailing] He won’t let me be friends! [Note: _Good. Also, that monster!_ ]

DS: What do you mean?

AA: Any time I try to touch him – like, just a friendly pat on the arm, or a hug, or anything, he pulls away [looks upset].

DS: Why would you hug him?

AA: I just get so excited when I master a move! [bounces up, spins around on a blast of air, sits back down, holds arms out wide]

DS: Really? I’ve never seen you try to hug Katara.

AA: [flailing wildly, looking flushed] Um- Well, I- [twitches] That is… uh. [straightens, attempts to look serious] I respect your sister too much. [ _Note: Good answer._ ]

DS: Fair enough. But you’ve never tried to hug Toph eith- [ _Note: Of course he hasn’t. Because that would get him killed._ ]. Never mind. So what happens when you try to hug him?

AA: [confused] He acts like I’m about to attack him! Just… kinda freaking out? I don’t understand! [on verge of tears] I thought he wanted to be friends? [ _Note: Even if he isn’t plotting something, I’m going to murder Jerkbender for making Aang almost-cry._ ]

DS: I see… And what about Mai? Has she tried to attack you? Acted weird? Anything?

AA: Uh, well [frowning, fidgeting] there was this thing that happened yesterday. Zuko was sitting all alone on a bit of wall, and I thought he might be lonely, so I went over to sit next to him, [frowns] and suddenly Mai jumped in my way and pushed me back.

DS: She pushed you?

AA: Well, [fidgets] not really _pushing_. [looks awkward] She didn’t actually touch me. But she jumped into my way so suddenly I almost fell over [performs flailing re-enactment] and sat down in the spot I was just about to sit in.

DS: Hmm… okay. Maybe you both decided to sit next to him at the same time, and she felt she had dibs on the spot? [ _Note: Hate being fair to her, but a good detective should strive for impartiality, even for evil stabby ladies. Ugh._ ]

AA: [flailing arms] But that’s just what was the weirdest thing! There was space on either side of him, and she came from the other side!

DS: Really, which directions and where was the disputed spot?

AA: [puzzled] Does it matter?

DS: Eh, probably not, but I like to be thorough. It’s important to get the full picture of a scene. Even the smallest detail can be important.

AA: [thinking] Uh, I guess I was approaching from his left [waves left arm], and I was going to sit on his left. Mai came from [squints] sort of in front of him, but off to his right [holds both arms out diagonally and waves them] and sat on his left.

DS: Hmm. Oh! His scar is on that side. Maybe she thought you were going to be mean about it? [ _Note: Again, ugh at trying to be fair to people who don’t deserve it._ ]

AA: [looking confused] But I’ve never said anything about it before! [shrugs] I don’t even notice it anymore, not really. It’s just sorta part of his face, you know? [ _Note: The investigator concurs with this assessment._ ] So what does it matter what side I sit on?

DS: Yeah, I can’t see a problem there.

AA: I mean, it wasn’t a big deal. But you asked for weird, and that’s weird, right? [ _Note: Definitely weird._ ]

DS: Anything else?

AA: [shrugs] Not really. She mostly just glares at me a lot any time I go near Zuko. Which is pretty unfriendly. [slumps, pouts a little] But it might just be a girlfriend thing. [perks up, looking curious] _Is_ it a girlfriend thing?

DS: Uh, well, um… [ _Note: That was said in a very manly, confident manner._ ] I think we’re done here.

AA: Cool! [bounces to his feet and zooms off on his air ball thingie]

Witness: Toph Beifong

Age: 12

Occupation: World’s Greatest Earthbender, General Force of Chaos

Toph Beifong: This better be good, Snoozles. I was busy.

Detective Sokka: You were busy trying to belch the Earth Kingdom national anthem.

TB: As a proud Earth Kingdom citizen, I find its tune deeply inspiring in these dark times. [performs a worryingly impressive recreation of the first line]

DS: Okay, whatever. So, would you say Zuko is settling in well to the group?

TB: Nope.

DS: And why do you think that is?

TB: Because Sugar Queen is being a total [REDACTED] to him?

DS: How do you even know language like that?!

TB: [rolls eyes] [ _Note: How does she know to do that? Is it just instinctive?_ ] You think participants of an underground fighting tournament censor their words just because there’s a kid present?

DS: I- Never mind. Not my problem.

TB: [cackles]

DS: Tell me what happened when you went to their camp to talk to them.

TB: [giving weird look] Don’t you already know this?

DS: Again, please, for the record.

TB: What record? [rolls eyes] Ugh, fine, whatever. After you idiots wouldn’t even listen to someone who literally just walked up and offered to teach Aang Firebending, I figured I might as well go talk to em. [pauses to clean something disgusting from between her toes] Which could probably have easily gone badly, I guess, now I think about it.

DS: Ha! So you’re saying you didn’t trust them?

TB: [another eyeroll] No. I’m saying I forgot how sighted people get super weird about being in the dark, and maybe sneaking up on a Firebender and knife-thrower in hostile territory, after you told them they’d be attacked if they stuck around, wasn’t a smart plan. [ _Note: Fair point. Ugh._ ]

DS: Okay, fine. Please continue.

TB: [makes face] Wow, thank you. Anyway, Spike [ _Note: Her nicknames get weirder. I guess knives and darts are spikey???_ ] kept her cool long enough to figure out that I wasn’t there to kick their asses. And talking was much easier without you and your sister yelling. Amazing, right? So they explained that were totally serious about the ‘join the Avatar’ thing and they’d kinda burned their bridges and couldn’t go back, seeing as Sparky told his father to go [REDACTED] himself. [looks impressed].

DS: And that’s it?

TB: [goes back to cleaning her toes] You know it is. [sighs] Fiiiine. I stayed the night at their camp, because I figured showing up in the morning safe and not-murdered-in-my-sleep might help you guys see reason. Then I told them to give me an hour or so to talk to you and then come down and plead their case again, or whatever. [face twists in thought] Well, okay first I told them to let me sleep, damnit. Turns out Firebenders rise at dawn. [grimaces] Ugh, no wonder they started a war. I’d be cranky too if I got up that early every day. [ _Note: Due to personal safety concerns I avoided pointing out that she is plenty cranky without Firebending. Dead detectives don’t solve cases._ ]

DS: Did you notice anything weird at their campsite?

TB: [looking bored] Nope.

DS: Really? Nothing?

TB: Well, apart from the detailed battle plans that listed every detail of their strategy to capture the Avatar, which I read thoroughly but then forgot all about until now.

DS: Really?! You read actual- Wait! [ _Note: Damnit!_ ]

TB: [laughing] Too easy, Snoozles.

DS: Seriously though? Anything?

TB: [rolls eyes yet again] Sparky did seem a little nervous, but I am pretty badass, so… [smirks, shrugs]

DS: Fine. Have you noticed any weirdness since they joined?

TB: [rolls her eyes, but clearly thinks about it] Sparky’s heartrate is pretty weird.

DS: Weird how?

TB: His resting heartrate is about the same as most people’s intense panic heartrate. And sometimes it’ll spike suddenly out of nowhere for no reason I can figure out. [ _Note: Interesting._ ]

DS: So he’s totally hiding something!

TB: [sighs] I don’t know, Snoozles. It feels more like he’s on the verge of a panic attack than that he’s planning to _literally_ attack.

DS: And you really have no idea what’s freaking him out?

TB: Nope. All I can tell you is he calms down when she’s snuggled up next to him. [sticks tongue out and makes gagging noise] I would mock them, but honestly, it’s a relief to have him calm down a little. His heartrate practically gives me second-hand anxiety.

DS: I still think he’s hiding something. It’s as obvious as that scar of his.

TB: Sparky has a scar? Man, nobody tells me anything. Oh! [eyes widen in realisation] Is it on his face?

DS: Yeah. Wait, how did-

TB: That explains a lot. [ _Note: Huh?_ ]

DS: Huh? What do you mean?

TB: You mean you haven’t noticed?

DS: Noticed what?

TB: Ugh, and people think I’m the blind one. [her eyes are gonna fall out if she keeps rolling them like this] He obviously favours his left side.

DS: Well, most people are right-handed…

TB: [unimpressed look] You think I didn’t take that into account? And anyway he’s, what’s the word? Oh yeah, ambidextrous.

DS: Ugh. I don’t wanna know about his sex life!

TB: [confused] What? Oh! [laughs so hard she falls over, eventually Earthbending herself upright again] Oh wow. No. It means able to use both hands, dumbass.

DS: Oh, right. I totally knew that.

TB: Sure, buddy. [grinning suddenly] Though I bet being able to use both hands would be really useful when-

DS: Okay! This conversation is over!

[ _Note: Toph’s statement suggests that Gloomy may have a reason for not wanting Aang to sit on Jerkbender’s left. Still seems weird though, if she can sit there then he’s obviously fine with someone being there. He can’t think that Aang is taking advantage of a possible blind spot to sneak up on him, surely??? And if he is, why would he believe Aang would attack him? Unless he planned to attack Aang first!_ ]

Witness: Katara

Age: 14

Occupation: Master Waterbender, Annoying Sister

Katara: Sokka, I’m trying to cook here. Can’t it wait?

Detective Sokka: I just have a few questions!

K: Fine. [sighs] Well, if you’re gonna bother me then you can at least be useful while you’re at it. Here. [hands over a bunch of vegetables and a chopping knife, accompanied by a significant look]

DS: Fine.

K: Now what is it?

DS: I’m trying to figure out what Zuko is up to.

K: [whirls round, looking super intense] He is definitely up to something!

DS: I know! I’m just trying to figure out what! There’s no way Aang will do anything unless I present him with evidence of whatever him and his weird girlfriend are planning! [ _Note: Pause added here for dramatic effect._ ] Now, tell me about _The Incident With The Tea_.

K: [looking up from measuring out rice, with baffled expression] How in Koh’s name did you manage to give something capital letters while speaking?

DS: It’s a gift. Anyway, if you could describe what happened…?

K: But you were there!

DS: A good detective looks at things from every angle!

K: [looks confused, then resigned] This again huh? Is Avatar Kyoshi going to show up this time?

DS: That _would_ be pretty helpful. But I’d have to convince Aang first, and you know how he likes to see the best in everyone.

K: [sighs] Even if they don’t deserve it. [puts cup down and scowls] Okay, well, you’ve seen how he is with tea…

DS: Ma’am, please state for the record how The Suspect is with tea.

K: ‘For the-'? [sighs, rolls eyes] Fine. The first night, Aang suggested I make tea for Prince Jerkface to make him feel better about losing his Firebending. [throws hands in the air] As if that wasn’t a good thing! But he went on and on about it until I gave in. I figured if I’m gonna do it anyway, I may as well do it properly, so I went to the effort of trying to get the temperature and brewing time right! [glares at bag of rice like it’s personally offended her]

[long pause as glaring continues]

DS: And then?

K: And then, after I actually made an effort to be welcoming, he had the nerve to refuse! [ _Note: I can say with certainty that Waterbenders don’t have an equivalent of the Avatar State, because if they did, this whole temple would be icy rubble._ ] Obviously, I wasn’t having that! But he kept declining! He acted like he thought it was poisoned! [folds arms and scowls] Then his girlfriend tried to pick a fight. Like he can’t fight his own battles or something! [scowls even harder]

DS: Yeah, it was pretty intense. Aang had to intervene.

K: Did you see the look she gave him when he told Zuko [imitates Aang] ‘Please just drink the tea! Katara worked so hard on it!’ [resumes scowling] If looks could kill, right?

DS: Hmm… I think she looked more, I don’t know, betrayed?

K: [sniffs derisively] She probably expected Aang to let Zuko have his own way, like how he’d given in to letting him join our group.

DS: Yeah, sounds right.

K: And then they just get up and go hide in their room right after he finally drinks it, because they just can’t sit with us even a moment longer!

DS: And what happened next?

K: [flicks hair back dramatically and smirks] Well, obviously, I made more tea. [scowls] [ _Note: Gran-Gran would tell her if the wind changed her face might stay like that, but I’m going to stay quiet. Again, safety reasons._ ] I’m not just gonna sit there and accept him being rude like that. [leans back, grinning] And besides, what better way to welcome him and Aang back from their trip to see the Sun Warriors! And then the next day, and the day after that, because hey, [pretend-casual shrug] I guess it’s part of our routine now!

DS: Don’t you think this is a little, um…?

K: [glaring] A little _what_?!

DS: Uh, well. It’s kinda- Just trying to be objective for the sake of the investigation! But some might say that it’s a little, um, petty…?

K: [rolls eyes] Yeah, yeah, maybe. But can you blame me? It just really pissed me off that I tried to do something nice, and he was a jerk about it! [looks upset for a moment] And she tried to stab me! Just because I expected her stupid boyfriend to have manners! [another scowl] [ _Note: Actually, just assume she’s scowling unless otherwise stated._ ] I guess _His Highness_ considers himself above such trivial things. [snorts] So yeah, maybe it’s petty to watch him squirm because he knows he blew it again. And maybe it’s petty to smile at her as she glares at me. But what’s the harm? [waves a hand dismissively] I mean, it’s just tea, right?

DS: Yeah, I guess.

K: [grins suddenly in a worryingly Toph-like way that promises Trouble] [ _Note: And that’s with a capital ‘T’ so you know it’s bad._ ] Unless…

DS: Unless what?

K: [opens her mouth, but hesitates] Uh, you know what? Never mind. [wide smile] Hey, are you done chopping those vegetables for me? I really need to get on with, y’know, this. [takes now-chopped vegetables]

DS: Uh, sure. Thanks.

Witness: The Duke

Age: 8

Occupation: Actual Child Who Shouldn’t Even Be Here (okay, so is everyone else here, but _still_ )

Detective Sokka: So, what do you think of Zuko?

Duke: [unsure] Um, I don’t know? I don’t see him much. I guess he’s okay, for a Firebender?

DS: And what makes you say that?

D: [looks at me like I’m stupid] Cos he ain’t set anyone on fire yet. [ _Note: A reasonable point. Though the word ‘yet’ is an important distinction._ ]

DS: And what about Mai?

D: She’s cool. And nice.

DS: Nice?! [ _Note: Have Katara examine Duke for potential head injuries._ ]

D: Yeah. She even remembers my name is _The_ Duke, not just Duke. [ _Note: Oh, right. Oops._ ]

DS: Um…

TD: Hey, do you think she’ll teach me knife-throwing? [ _Note: !!!!!!!!!!_ ]

DS: Er, I think that might be a little dangerous…

TD: [grinning] That’s exactly why I want to learn! [mimes stabbing with a knife, then throwing it]

DS: Excuse me, I gotta go. Um. Somewhere else.

[ _Note: Interview terminated due to stress induced by the thought of The Duke armed with projectile weapons._ ]

Witness: Haru

Age: ??? [ _Note: I should probably know this but I don’t and I think it’s too late to ask._ ]

Occupation: Earthbender, Possessor of Unfortunate Facial Hair

Haru: Hey, Sokka, what’s up?

Detective Sokka: Just wondering what you think of Zuko and Mai?

H: [shrugs] I don’t really know. There’s so much to explore in this temple I haven’t really spent any time with them yet. Hey, you should come with us sometime!

DS: Uh, yeah, sure. Later!

Witness: Teo

Age: 13 [ _Note: I think? I’m sure his dad told me?_ ]

Occupation: Daredevil Glider, Air Temple Explorer

Detective Sokka: Hey, Teo. Just wanted to ask you something real quick. [ _Note: Might as well, just to be thorough._ ]

Teo: Sure, what is it?

DS: Just wondering what you think of Zuko? And I guess Mai too? Whatever?

T: [shrugs] Well, I haven’t seen much of him while he’s been here. He seems less cranky than before though.

DS: Okay, thanks anyw- Wait, what do you mean ‘before’?! When did you meet Zuko?

T: [puzzled] Oh, I figured you already knew? I didn’t really meet him, not properly. He came by the Northern Air Temple while hunting the Avatar to check we weren’t hiding him there. But we didn’t talk or anything.

DS: When was this?!

T: Uh, I think 3 years ago? Yeah, definitely 3. [ _Note: What? But Aang was still in the ice then and everyone thought the Avatar was dead. Why was Zuko so convinced he was alive that he’d searched for him since he was… Wait, 3 years ago he would’ve been 13?!?_ ] Why?

DS: Uh, probably nothing. So, did he do anything? Set anyone on fire? Take candy from any babies?

T: [thinking] No, he just stomped around and shouted a bit.

DS: What a jerk.

T: Nah, I think maybe he was just cranky because of his face. [waves hand at own face]

DS: You mean the scar?

T: Yeah, though it was covered with bandages, so I suppose it wasn’t a scar then. [ _Note: So Zuko got his scar right around when he started hunting the Avatar? Was it before he’d begun searching? Or after? The mystery surrounding Zuko was only deepening!_ ]

DS: Do you know how he got it?

T: [shakes head] No idea. Like I said, he didn’t talk to me.

DS: And you’re sure he didn’t hurt anyone?

T: Nope. We were worried he’d kick us out, but when someone plucked up the courage to ask, he just looked confused and asked why he would do that if we weren’t hiding the Avatar.

DS: Huh.

[Haru shouts ‘Hey, Teo! You gotta come see this!’ from the top of a staircase.]

T: Sounds like adventure awaits! [grins excitedly] You coming?

DS: Uh, no. Thanks.

T: Your loss! [waves, then zooms off]

**- _Sokka_ -**

Careful questioning by a clever investigator had brought some interesting pieces of information to light, but nothing that would help solve the Mystery of the Annoying Jerkbender. After going through his super insightful and detailed notes, he realised the problem: Aside from Aang’s Firebending lessons, nobody spent much time with either of them.

So, he needed to draw them into the group somehow.

Easy.

All he had to do was take Aang aside and mention how Zuko and Mai must feel _sooooo lonely_ , banished to their little room, instead of gathering round the fire with everyone else as they shared stories and generally bonded and stuff.

“Oh wow, you’re right, Sokka! They must think we’re so unfriendly!”

And he’d skipped off to go find Zuko. There was no way Jerkbender would be able to resist those isopuppy eyes. Even Gloomy couldn’t manage it. Now Sokka would have way more opportunity to observe their suspicious behaviour and figure out their plan.

Dragons might have decided Zuko was okay, but Detective Sokka hadn’t.

⁂

Aang’s adorableness had won yet again (maybe he would win the war by making That Face at the Firelord until he gave in and surrendered) and Jerkbender and Gloomy joined them at the fire, with obvious reluctance.

Toph raised her eyebrows slightly but made no other reaction, and he’d already warned Katara that they’d probably be showing up, not wanting his sister to scare them off and blow his best chance at solving this case, so she scowled, but said nothing.

It was just the four of them plus _The Suspects_ tonight; Teo, Haru and The Duke were off exploring a more distant part of the temple today and had already mentioned that they would most likely camp out there overnight rather than risk coming back in the dark.

Dinner passed mostly in silence aside from requests for second helpings or for someone to pass something or other, the presence of two new (extremely suspicious) people throwing the whole group’s dynamic off. (Yet another reason they totally sucked.)

Even after, without the excuse of stuffing food into their mouths, conversation was slow at first as they laid out on their bedrolls – he was trying to sit back and observe, Katara was sulking, and even Aang seemed quieter than usual (probably disappointed that everyone wasn’t immediately getting along).

Then Toph asked about Jeong Jeong, who they’d mentioned a few days ago when trying to come up with potential non-evil Firebending teachers for Aang.

This led to them telling her the story of Aang’s disastrous first attempt at Firebending.

“He didn’t even teach me anything good though,” Aang complained. “Just some stupid leaf-burning exercise. Totally pointless.”

“Um…” That was Zuko. Who was talking. Willingly. Without being addressed first. “Actually, it isn’t pointless.” He looked around, seeing that everyone was looking at him, and continued, hunching his shoulders like a turtleseal trying to retreat into its shell. “It has a lot of practical applications. The engineers on my ship used to use it as a way to extend our coal supplies.”

Aang perked up, “So he wasn’t just messing with me?”

Zuko actually snorted at that, apparently amused. “Oh, he probably was messing with you. But it _is_ useful to know.” He twitched his mouth in what might possibly be meant as a smile. “I’ll go over it with you tomorrow, see how well you remember it.”

“Uh, yeah… sure…” said Aang, grinning nervously.

“But you didn’t stick around?” interjected Toph, who didn’t care about the finer details of Aang’s Firebending lessons.

“Yeah, because he screwed around like an idiot and burned Katara,” snapped Sokka. He was still a little mad at Aang for doing that. Especially now he knew that the leaf thing was apparently an actual Jerkbending technique and not just a way of getting him to shut up so Jeong Jeong could have some peace and quiet.

“What!?” exclaimed Toph.

“It’s fine,” Katara reassured her. “I healed myself, and it was fine.” Then she turned to smile at Aang. “And Aang learned a very important lesson, right, Aang?”

Aang nodded, though he still looked upset at this reminder of him hurting his friend.

Sokka decided to take pity on him – Katara _had_ been fine in the end, and didn’t seem to bear a grudge – and continued the story. “Anyway, Aang was an idiot, and Jeong Jeong got mad, and then that Zhao guy showed up and we had to leave,” Sokka finished.

Toph frowned at yet another name she didn’t know. “Who’s Zhao?”

“Some Fire Nation guy who followed us around just like Zuko,” he heard Katara telling her, but he barely paid attention.

Because Zuko had _flinched_ so hard he practically fell over, and Mai somehow managed to look even more blank than normal (which was saying something) and her fingers twitched like she was about to go for her knives.

He narrowed his eyes. Something was up here!

Toph had to have noticed that, but she gave no indication of it. “So what happened to him? Don’t tell me he’s gonna show up out of nowhere too?”

Wow, Zuko was _totally_ freaking out now, while trying to pretend he _wasn’t_ totally freaking out, and Mai put her arm around him, pulling him in close, actually looking… concerned? (It was so hard to tell with her.)

Sokka mentally marked their reactions down as ‘Highly suspicious’.

Toph tilted her head towards them, but still said nothing, obviously choosing to observe, just as he was. Smart.

“No idea,” answered Sokka, still keeping an eye on _The Suspects_. “We never saw him again after that.”

“He died.” That was Mai, and her voice was weirdly inflectionless even for her, but he could see how tense she was.

Had he stumbled on their plan somehow? That must be it! They knew they were about to get busted!

“Did you guys kill him?” Toph asked, and he almost winced at the bluntness of the question. Leave this sort of thing to the professionals!

The two of them freaked out again at that. Hmm…

“Hey, no judgement, Sparky!” She leaned back on her hands, grinning. “Do you guys have any idea how many Dai Li agents I squished into paste in Ba Sing Se?”

Now it was Aang’s turn to get twitchy. Poor guy struggled with the idea that this was a war and people die in wars, including several people who were totally _not_ gonna be able to just walk it off after getting Airbent into a wall.

Mostly they tried not to burst his bubble, but there was only so much they could do to shield him from reality. And he was gonna have to figure this shit out before the comet showed up and he had to fight the Firelord.

“No,” Zuko eventually replied. “No, I didn’t.”

And… weird. Because if Sokka didn’t know any better, he’d think the Jerkbender sounded _scared_. Of what, though?

He couldn’t see how, but somehow his keen detective’s instincts told him that Zhao was the key to this whole mystery.

He opened his mouth to steer the conversation towards what had happened at Roku’s temple during the solstice, because that he been _weird_ …

And then _Mai_ , of all people, spoke. “So, Toph. I heard you were part of an underground fighting ring? Sounds pretty fun.”

“It was awesome!” the Earthbender responded, and launched into an enthusiastic retelling of her adventures as The Blind Bandit, which Mai and Zuko listened to with every appearance of total fascination, as they clung to each other in a way that made him wonder how Yue was doing, and if Suki was alright…

To be fair, Toph’s exploits _were_ pretty fascinating, and he listened along, putting the investigation on hold for just a few minutes (and Zuko and Mai’s reactions to her description of Fire Nation Man were hilarious – “Dear Agni, why?” Zuko groaned, as Mai rolled her eyes and shook her head).

Just as they were hearing a blow-by-blow account of how she’d kicked the ass of some guy calling himself Ultimate Pain (who had probably rethought that name after Toph was done with him), he caught the scent of tea wafting on the night air, and Zuko went back to freaking out again.

Mai glared at Katara, who was kneeling by the fire, pouring tea into cups.

“Who wants tea?”

He had a bad feeling about this… He shouldn’t though. He should be glad. With Zuko and Mai having been knocked off balance earlier by the mention of Zhao, Katara reminding him how weird he was being would throw one or both of them off their game entirely, and they’d reveal everything.

But Katara was smiling too widely, in a way he recognised all too well (because he was usually on the receiving end).

What was she up to…?

Zuko got his last, and accepted the cup with predictable reluctance, but he’d become used to Katara’s needling of him and drank it without too much of a fight.

…Only to drop the cup and gag violently, clutching at his throat.

“What did you do?” snarled Mai, looking uncharacteristically terrified as she clutched at her boyfriend, frantically checking him over.

Everyone else looked at Katara in horror.

“Oh, calm down! It’s just spices.” She shook a small packet at them. “I just got sick of him acting like his tea was poisoned!”

Sokka wanted to ask how actually putting something in his tea for real was meant to help with that, even if it had been harmless, but he was distracted by Zuko, who hadn’t stopped shaking and was gasping out harsh breaths.

Was he having a panic attack? Over spices?

Even Katara looked taken aback by this, reaching for her waterskin and getting up. “Wait, I can-”

Then she had to dodge a bunch of darts fired at her.

“I think you’ve done more than enough,” snapped Mai, her normal mask back in place, as she picked up her still-freaking-out boyfriend and helped him to his feet.

Everyone was too frozen to react as they walked off into the temple.

Aang broke the silence. “Katara! That was really mean…”

“Oh, come on! It was just a prank!” But it was obvious she realised she’d gone too far, and there was no heat to her words.

“That’s a really shitty prank.”

Sokka had to agree. He liked a good prank war as much as the next person, but the idea of ruining perfectly good food was just… Well, it was just _wrong_. Like desecrating a temple or something.

“Toph! Language!”

“Really, Sugar Queen, that’s what you’re focusing on?”

“Someone should go talk to him, apologise…” Aang suggested.

But nobody did. Mai had looked ready to murder someone, and disturbing a panicky Firebender was definitely close to the top of a list of really bad ideas.

Aang shot a reluctant glance towards the door leading into the temple. “I’ll talk to him at Firebending practice tomorrow.”

⁂

But next morning there was still no sign of Zuko.

“Maybe I should take him some breakfast?” Aang suggested hesitantly, as they finished eating with no sign of his Firebending teacher.

“Considering what caused him to freak out last night, I don’t know if being greeted with a bowl of food is exactly the best plan,” Toph pointed out.

So they waited. And waited.

Sokka cleaned and polished his space sword so much he was in danger of wearing it away to nothing. Toph formed a piece of rock into random abstract shapes. Aang Airbent a couple of leaves around for the entertainment of Momo. Katara paced to and fro, alternately rehearsing her apology aloud and muttering about how she couldn’t see this was such a big deal (she clearly knew it was a big deal though, and Sokka could tell that she was just nervous and guilty).

Suddenly she stopped her pacing. “Someone’s coming!”

“It’s not Sparky.”

Even with Toph’s warning, Mai’s appearance still came as a shock. Her hair was down and she’d left off her outer tunic. She might as well have walked out naked.

She didn’t even glance at them as she walked over, peered into the cooking pot, then relit the fire to reheat the leftover food.

Taking a deep breath, Katara broke the silence. “Is… Is Zuko okay?”

Mai didn’t look at her. “No, not really.”

“Is he coming out?” asked Aang, sounding like a kid asking if his friend could come out to play, instead of the World’s Great Hope For Peace asking if his Firebending instructor would be teaching him today.

“No. Not today.”

“Um, what about tomorrow? Will he be feeling better by then? Because it _is_ kinda important I learn Firebending…”

Mai looked up at that, glaring, only to be met with a face of pure concerned sincerity. She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She got up and walked over to him, picking up one of the larger leaves he’d been playing with. “There. Do your stupid leaf-burning exercise.”

“But Zuko said it was-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. “C’mon. Show me what you’ve got, Avatar.”

Aang glanced at Katara and swallowed nervously, then pointed to a rock on the other side of the veranda. “I’ll just go over there, okay?”

“Whatever.”

She checked the pot and, apparently satisfied, began scooping rice into a couple of bowls.

He could see his sister was annoyed at being ignored, but she took several deep breaths and made a visible effort to calm herself.

“Look, I’d like to apologise to him.”

A sigh. “Well, you can’t.”

So much for attempting to remain calm. “Why not?!”

Mai gave her a brief glance, expression as unreadable as ever. “Because you don’t know what you’re apologising for.”

“So tell me!”

She hesitated, then, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not my story to tell.”

She glanced over to Aang, who had managed to light his leaf without setting anyone on fire this time.

“Keep that up for at least an hour, or you have to do 50 hotsquats.”

Aang screwed his face up in concern. “Is it even possible to keep the leaf burning that long?”

A tiny flicker of uncertainty passed across her face. “Then I guess you’ll be doing 50 hotsquats anyway. And throw in 50 of those – what are they called? oh yeah – fire fists while you’re at it.” Her eyes cut towards Toph. “Hey, Toph, keep him honest, will you?”

Toph grinned. “Sure thing, Spike.”

Katara was fuming as the girl left again. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t tell us! I was actually ready to apologise!”

Toph snorted and rolled her eyes. “If you were ready to apologise, then it wouldn’t matter why Sparky got freaked out.”

Katara folded her arms, looking sulky at this extremely valid point. “Ugh, yes, okay. Fine.” She dropped down to sit on the ground, resting her head in her hands. “But I do want to know why he freaked out over something so harmless. There must be something going on there, right?”

He had to agree. As a detective, he hated unsolved mysteries. “Well, maybe we can figure it out?” he suggested, getting up and going over to rummage through his pack.

“Okay, we- How do you even still have that hat and pipe?” asked Katara. Then she gave up. “You know what, never mind. Okay, Expert Detective Sokka. How do we solve this mystery?”

“Hmm…” he puffed a few bubbles out of the pipe. “Let’s go over the evidence.”

Katara leaned forward. “Well, for a start, he freaks out at tea.”

He pointed the pipe at her. “Especially tea that tastes weird.”

“And he seemed to expect me to put something in it, but still panicked when I did put something in, even though it was just harmless spices that he eats all the time.”

Toph added, “His heart starts going crazy the moment you start brewing it, even if he isn’t facing in the direction of the pot. Feels like he wants to throw up, too. I think it’s the smell.”

Sokka tapped the pipe, thinking. “Okay, so there’s that. What else?”

“Hmm, well I don’t know if it’s important, but his heart was going nuts the whole time you were talking about that Zhao guy.” Then Toph shrugged. “Or maybe he was just a really scary guy – not like I met him.”

Katara shook her head. “Not really? No scarier than any other Fire Nation soldier we ran into.”

“He was pretty weird though,” Sokka pointed out. “Remember what happened at Roku’s temple during the solstice?”

“Oh, yeah, that _was_ pretty weird.”

“Uh, guys? You’re doing it again!”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Toph,” said Katara. “Well, we were at Avatar Roku’s temple for… Well, the why isn’t important. Point is, we were there. Zuko and Zhao had both followed us, but Aang was safe in this special room that nobody else could get into.”

“We got captured and chained up,” Sokka added. “A fate we naturally accepted bravely. And for some reason, so was Zuko, even though he’s their prince.”

“And Zhao tortured him? Or threatened him or something?”

“No, that’s the even weirder thing. He had Zuko chained up, but he was being really nice, saying things about how he was looking forward to personally escorting Zuko back home to the palace.” He frowned. “And it was hard to see from where I was, but I swear it looked like he stroked Zuko’s face.” He shook his head. “But that can’t be right.”

“I thought he’d put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder, for reassurance?”

“Hmm, yeah, I guess that would make more sense…” he conceded. “Anyway, Zuko looked pretty freaked out. I figured he was just pissed off at failing to capture Aang for like the millionth time, but…”

“Yeah,” Toph agreed. “That does sound kinda weird.”

Katara just looked puzzled though. “I can’t see what it matters though, if Zhao is dead.” She frowned. “Assuming he _is_ dead.”

“For what it’s worth, my feet say that they were telling the truth that he’s dead, and they didn’t kill him.”

He nodded. “I trust in your feet, Toph.” Then he puffed a few more bubbles out of his pipe, thinking of the results of his investigative work. “And he also freaks out at being touched. Or anyone getting close to him at all.”

“Okay,” said Katara. “Anyone have anything else?”

“Hey, whose investigation is this?”

She rolled her eyes. “My apologises, Detective.”

“Thank you.” He looked around. “So, anything else?”

No further evidence was forthcoming.

“Right. So, in summary: He hates tea to the point where he can’t even deal with the smell, and expects people to put something in it, he gets really uncomfortable over a guy who stroked his face while telling him he was looking forward to them spending time together, while he was chained up, and he hates being touched. Hmm…”

He thought about it, trying to consider how those pieces of evidence fit together

He thought some more.

Oh.

Oh no.

Please no.

Now he really wanted to not think about that.

Tui and La what the actual fuck.

From the looks on Toph and Katara’s faces, they’d reached the same horrible conclusion.

Toph let out an impressive string of curses, and it said a lot about how shocked they all were that Katara didn’t tell her off.

There was silence, broken only by a distant exclamation of, “Monkey feathers!” and the subsequent sound of someone performing a series of hotsquats.

“Okay,” he said eventually. “Okay. So, what do we do?”

Normally he was the one who came up with plans, but this situation was beyond him.

Katara paled. “We can’t tell Aang!”

“Why not?” asked Toph.

“Because you know how he is! Knowing about… something like that… It would crush him!”

“Also, he’d probably go into the Avatar State and destroy this whole temple with us in it,” Sokka pointed out.

“That too.”

Sokka quietly removed his hat. Sometimes, detective skills were a curse.

⁂

Mai emerges again an hour later, fully dressed and with her hair done this time. She checks on Aang and, despite not being a Firebender, apparently has observed enough Firebending displays to correct his stance. Then she moves over to their supplies and pours a couple of cups of water, before turning to leave again.

Katara approaches her and talks for a short time.

Mai nods in acknowledgement, but doesn’t look impressed. (Then again, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.) She sweeps them with a glance, then walks back into the temple.

Nobody says anything as Katara picks up the bag of tea, walks over to the edge, and throws it into the ravine.

**Author's Note:**

> That's a wrap on this series, folks!
> 
> I mentioned in some comments that I was considering doing a part 5, focusing on random Fire Nation servants wondering why their new Firelord is so twitchy & has so many weird rules regarding how tea is served (possibly including cameos from newly-promoted _Admiral_ Jee, & Princess Yue as representative of the Northern Water Tribe). But eh, it's not really the same with random OCs, so I'm choosing to end it here.
> 
> I've got other stuff coming for this fandom though. A LOT of other stuff. You know that 'parkour' scene from _The Office_? Well my muse has apparently been trying to re-enact that, & I'm currently working on 3 different WIPs at the same time. Since I can't focus wholly on one, I'm gonna start posting all of em, & I'll update whichever one I'm feeling at the time.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Maiqueen](https://maiqueen.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I am also on Fanexus. Think if Livejournal, Tumblr, & Ao3 got thrown in a blender. I can't share a link to that one because it's in closed beta. If you're also one of the lucky few to gain admittance, then you can find me camped out in the ATLA & Devil May Cry tags. You can find out more about the platform [here](https://twitter.com/fanexus) (there's a link in the pinned thread to join the Discord & be first in line for beta invites). Otherwise I guess you just have to be patient. But as soon as it opens up to more people I'll be able to share it. :D


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